The Ego

My Dear Rosebud,

It is so wonderful to feel your essence again, ahhh … the beauty of the Rose, you are such a beautiful flower my dear friend, and I soak up your essence divine as one would sniff in the gloroius perfume of the Rose.

I am so happy that you asked these very important and apt questions. These questions go through the minds of nearly all spiritual warriors at some stage or other. So for you to bring these questions here is not only wonderful but it is absolutely perfect, just as Gods Will always is!

I have answered each question you ask, but remember my sweetness the answers themselves will become a process within you and over a period of time the process will expand the depth and clarity of each answer. Anything you still need clarity on, ask!

I am also going to put up a talk on the Egoic self in the ‘Daily Wisdom Reading’, from Eckhart Tolle, which seems apt for this discussion; also in the ‘Spiritual Exersize’, I will place a beneficial exersice to help the process of Surrendering Ego.


How does one let go of one's ego?

This is not an act that can happen in one action; this is a process that happens with conscious and unconscious spiritual practise. It begins with the thought, “who and I”? From that moment your higher-power begins to answer this simple question, to a very complicated mind.

For you to understand the simplicity of the answer, a process happens at a higher level to eliminate the complexity that has been caused through years of conditioning, to bring your state of awareness back to the SIMPLE TRUTH of what it already knows.

This includes transformations of your old belief systems, they all become null in void, with the change of your new belief system that fits with your soul; (this is called TRUTH.)

This process includes with it all sorts of dramas and chaos in your life, which ultimately bring you down to a level of surrender. Surrender will happen as often as it takes for the whole process to complete itself. Surrender is giving up to the outside forces, acceptance of what is, and at the same time surrendering the outcome into Gods Hands! This surrender will be interlaced with any karma that is associated with your life and in the lessons that come and go, so that your karma be paid and repaid for finality.

At the end of the process, you will be aware of “Who you really are”, your life’s purpose, and karma complete. You are then at a stage in life, where the past chaos and drama will mean nothing to you and you are finally at a constant state of gratitude and peace within; your days and moments of life are filled with the love that you are and all that is expressed and experienced is the Truth of love.

This can never be fully appreciated by mere words of expression and only be experienced to know the depth of what these words really mean. It takes the process of eliminating the complications to bring clarity and depth which dilutes the veil of delusion that have blinded you.


How does one live your life without your ego controlling it?

First you come to understand through the process many things, one of which is simply, “you do not have to remember Truth”, and taking that to the deeper level of awareness in the timing of the process, you will see that thought is not needed to live your life as it was in the past.

That becomes an outdated mode of being. Once you live life without ego control, you are now surrendered to Gods-will, and life will change from how you viewed it from behind the veil of delusion. Your whole way of being changes and only the experience of the change will bring the true understanding of this explanation.

You cannot expect to get the full connotation from any of these answers until you finally get there by the process, then you will see the depth of Truth, that these words and explanations are.


How does one fully live life happy without your ego deluding it?

It just happens … as the process takes over and the confusion and the delusions end that veiled the reality of truth, life becomes filled with joy, love and peace. Once you are at that stage, the process of chaos drama and all that is associated with it is no longer needed. It is surrendered into the delusion from whence it came from. All that is left is peace, love and happiness.


How does one not let ego get in the way of your thinking and feelings?

In the beginning of the process most all thinking and feelings come from ego, you cannot stop ego from existing, you actually learn to become detached from ego thoughts and feelings through the process, and this process happens so that your growth is perfect according to Gods timing and Will.

You learn to disassociate yourself with the delusion of ego. You become the watcher of the thoughts but you no longer get involved with the thought that is happening … and then the thought just melts away into nothingness unaffected, and you are free of the emotions and feelings that thought use to drag you down into … its when you do not think, but just be, just love, just know without the thoughts, … that you are free from ego.

I.e. … When you love, you do not have to think about it... You just know it. It’s not a thought. If you have to think about it then it is obviously clear that it is not love. E.g. If I ask you, “do you love your daughter”? … You wouldn’t even have to think about the answer, the answer ‘yes’ would automatically come to you.

This is the same for all thoughts of Truth; they all automatically come to you as a knowing. In realising this you see that ego cannot get in the way of Truth, it can however blind you from the Truth until the process opens your eyes and heart more and more and clarity happens until finally you are completely open to seeing the Truth.

So the process actually replaces ego with Truth, and you live according to your Truth, and no longer to the wrong thoughts and feelings that ego constantly deludes you with.


How does one not let ego let you become someone you don't want to be?

Again the process! The process will take you through all that you are not, so that in recognising that you are not that, you finally eliminate all else except for that which you are. You need to experience that which you are not, so that you can recognise the Truth of who you really are. A process of elimination!


How does one love and respect without ego influencing you and your thoughts?

Ego will influence you and your thoughts, for as long as it takes for the process to complete itself. It is the acceptance of this that the process finds completion. In completion you are in constant state of peace and love, and respect for self becomes a natural occurrence of being. That which you know you are you expresses outwardly and it automatically mirrors back to you, LOVE AND RESPECT!


How does one not let ego get you jealous and envious of others?

This is something that is eliminated in the process. It is not something you can do; it is the process that works through you. To accept the lessons of growth each time, is accepting the process in its perfect timing and growth for your individual cycle that is willed by God. The process will continually bring the past to you until you become so sick of it you will finally say “no” and surrender is completed.


Can we even control our egos?

Only through the long arduous spiritual practice and surrender to the process (gods will and timing for our ultimate purpose). Actually this is transference of ego to Truth, and Truth is Gods Will.


Are we too deluded by our egos?

No … we are perfectly deluded according to our individual spiritual needs.

It’s merely that everyone’s timing is different than others. Some may go through the process quicker than others or later than others, and it is neither a good thing nor bad thing on how long it takes one or another, it is just different and as unique as each one of us.

Remember always … it is only your own process you should ever focus on, no one else’s timing or lessons need concern you, except for when it shows you something about your own growth. Try to always stay focused on your own growth.

Nicely written, Dan. A favorite expression of mine is...."When the ego steps in, God steps out."

Greetings Amber,

I'm sure that Sarveswara will have a wonderful response, but I would very much enjoy taking a crack at answering your question as well if that's okay. Please let me know whether it's helpful at all or if there are any questions or items I could make clearer.

The ego, fundamentally, is only the feeling and experience of separateness from anything else. On one level, this has no reality, because there never really was any separation, it just feels like it when the whole pictures isn't quit clear yet. On another level, the appearance of separateness in important in order to be able to interact with the world. Even in a Unified state of Awareness there must be the perception of pieces to be able to unify with, it's the unification of one thing with another that makes the unity experience so loving and wonderful.

That said, pain and suffering comes from mistaking the ego, that sense of separateness (separate identy) as who you really are, and mistaking that separatness as being a fixed relationship with the world.

How does one let go of one's ego?

Simply by realizing that the world is not separate. This is simplest thing in the world. It is so self evident, that we just miss it completely. On some quiet level, there is the assumption of separation, and ownership of certain parts of your experience as "you" and others as "not you." This gentle mistake in understanding causes some problems, however. Feeling like a separate individual can make you feel inherently vulnerable, because you can be "hurt" in some way. Thus, there is a lot of resistance to scary situations, emotions, people, etc. that can threaten the sense of individuality. This is natural because, as an individual, it can feel like trying to stay alive, even though people may not think of it or phrase it that way. We have emotions, ideas, physical appearances that we define to be ourselves, and if any of these get threatened, then uncomfortable emotions (including jealousy, etc.) can come up.
Nonetheless, although it is natural to have these resistances (i.e. lack of acceptance), they prevent you from seeing the inherent connection you have to everything, which is truly that it is not, in any way, separate from you!

Thus, is it only this subtle, but all encompassing confusion that allows us to identify as a separate being.
How does one let go of the ego?
Letting go of the resistance -> release of pain -> greater awareness.
Letting go of resistance just comes when you heart is open and you feel big and joyful instead of small and shut down. Thus, devotion can be a really powerful delightful way to let go of resistance. Take any Divine, Loving experience that you wish to have, and let yourself have that. Don't let anything stand in the way. Be willing to give up everything for that delicious, sweet, wonderful, all encompassing love that the universe has for you. That you could not escape if you wanted to, but could only close down so that you cannot feel it all the time.
That said, simply having the desire for Union with the Divine and with life means that you are, at least on some quiet level, having that experience, or you wouldn't know to want it. Whatever feeling comes up when you think about Enlightenment, is the feeling that is in you, and that you are having, although not clear enough yet for it to be your day to day experience. That experience is more real than the illusion of separateness. Put all of your faith and love and in that. Let that wonderful feeling/Being take you by the hand and lead you out of there, trusting that feeling over all else. Pain is just a signification that there is some resistance, and your attention and desire to be open will give it the opportunity to unwind.

What also worked for me is simply letting myself feel any feelings that came up. Any resistance could just be easily felt, without looking to move it or change it. It then feels acknowledged and can gently unwind. This is powerful stuff. It really can take you all the way to Enlightenment is that is truly what you want.

The ego is not running you. You are just accidentally confusing the separateness to be the reality. You are taking ownership of part of Creation (the part you feel like you, as an invidual, are doing), but taking ownership of the whole thing, which is who you truly are. That feeling of being a person, is really not limited to your body. It extends past your body into everything, with only the ideas that it doesn't keeping you feeling limited. Try taking responsibility for everything you experience. You cannot truly be separate from it or you would not have the experience. The fact that you are having the experience shows that you are inherently connected at least in SOME way. There is a relationship there. What that relationship is exactly just needs a little time to get clearer.

Also, don't understimate the power of truly wanting the openess and the change. Life will come in to help make you aware of any resistances you have, so that you can gently feel it, and allow the resistance to slowly unwind. Life has your back and will continue to help you.


Ok to the other questions:

How does one live your life without your ego controlling it?
Letting go of resistances allows you to see the separateness for what it is, just one way of cutting the whole, unified reality.

How does one fully live life happy without your ego deluding it?
See above.

How does one not let ego get in the way of your thinking and feelings?
Let your thinking and feelings be as they are, they will not hurt you. Resisting them and trying to get away from them is what really hurts, that's all. This is the first step in letting the restrictions go, so it is no longer confining.

How does one not let ego let you become someone you don't want to be?
See above. (Also, you cannot truly be other than you are: the infinite, ever connected joy of life, so it's only ideas about something more limiting that make even the possibility of being someone you don't want to be possible)

How does one love and respect without ego influencing you and your thoughts?
Love and respect are the natural result when there is no resistance. This happens naturally, and having your attention on those feelings you want may help you release whatever resistance is in the way of having more and more of that.

How does one not let ego get you jealous and envious of others?
See above.

Can we even control our egos?
Ego is, by definition, the feeling of control and need to control. Being "egoless" means letting all ideas and feelings that we are trying to control be as they are (because they will be anyway). This includes your feelings of like and dislike.
Example: If something uncomfortable happens, let the uncomfortable situation be as it is, let your feelings about wanting to change it be as they are, and let any natural course of action you would take to change it happen or not happen. It's all part of you, and just so desperately needs your love and acceptance to know that it's really okay, and then the pain can release you.

Are we too deluded by our egos?
Too deluded for what? In some ways, yes because it is the difference between openess and closedness, between freedom and bondage. It is also, however, a natural part of life that is there for us to enjoy, even as we go on to discover the truth.
Please let me know what you think of this. Thanks.


Light Mystic (Dan)

How does one let go of one's ego?

How does one live your life without your ego controlling it?

How does one fully live life happy without your ego deluding it?

How does one not let ego get in the way of your thinking and feelings?

How does one not let ego let you become someone you don't want to be?

How does one love and respect without ego influencing you and your thoughts?

How does one not let ego get you jealous and envious of others?

Can we even control our egos?

Are we too deluded by our egos?

Amber (Jackie)