Your Stories ~ Getting to know US!

Dear Members,

Most of you would have read my story within the ashram about my family life and where I fitted in. Well I would love to hear your story ... So am Iam going to ask you a series of individual questions about YOU and YOURS, slowly this will build your story.

Not only will this introduce our story to the other members through our own individual eyes, but sometimes it really helps the one who is telling the story to see themselves from a different perspective. This is an amazing tool in getting to know self, and how God has worked in our lives.

The first question I would like you all to answer is ... Who were your Grandparents, and what was your relationship to them? How did they influence your life? What are one or two of your favourite and worst memories? Even if you didnt know your grandparents, what did you know about them? And anything else relavent that has to do with them and or yourself because of them.

I will begin the story telling...

I knew my Grandmother on my mother’s side, Esther Golding and her husband Bernie Golding, which was my step-grandfather. My real grandfather, my mother’s father was an alcoholic and they divorced early on in the scene. I remember seeing him once, I was a little girl; when he came to visit mum. He took my sister out for the day, but not me, and I always wondered why?

My Grandmother was an amazing business woman and extremely hard worker. She owned her own restaurants and bakeries. I always remember her working. When ever we went to visit her, it would be at the restaurants, which was a huge place with upstairs attics etc that were a child’s exploratory haven. Once in a blue moon there were the days; her, mum and us two girls; (me and my sister) would go to the big towns to shop for clothes. She always brought us amazingly expensive outfits, this would happen once every few years. I always knew she was too busy to come out shopping with us more than that. I just loved the time with her away from her working environment; she was like a different person, so soft and loving, like a nanny usually is. She was actually a very psychic lady and had she not been so involved with work, may have led a more spiritual path.

She and I use to be very close, till it got near the end of her time on earth. As I look back now I realize she must have been getting dementia of sorts. The last thing I remember her saying to me was, “I hate you Shiralee, as much as you hate me”! It rocked my little boat, that’s for sure. I didn’t understand why she said it to me.

As time has gone on I realize now what a learning instrument it had been in my life. I have since believed that however you treat someone, is how you yourself would like to be treated. If I disliked someone for what ever reason, I would always turn it inwards to see what it is I didn’t like about me? The answer was always there, and when discovered, the feeling of hatred dissipated into the void of non-existence. And if someone didn’t like me, I would try and find out why, as that was me mirroring a part of that person they did not like, and usually a part of myself I was unaware of.

With my grandmother it was “the looks” she hated about me, and I her as I look back. Yes, those looks of sheer distaste. If she told me I had to do something that I didn’t want to do, out would come that intense look of distaste. She saw it as hatred toward her; and she would look straight back at me with that same look. So yes I learnt early on what you give out comes straight back at you. That life is a mirror!

We left our home town shortly after that particular day, as dad got work down in the South Island of New Zealand. She died a few months later of heart failure.

I remember Grandad (Bernie Golging) as a man who adored my grandmother and had a special love for my mother; she actually introduced them. We were never close, he was close to Nanny and thier daughter Bonnie, and it was as though they were really all that was important to him. I didn't think any more of it! Always I thought of him as Nanny's husband and Bonnies dad. He died much earlier on of cancer, when I was still a young child.

I did not know my fathers parents, I believe I may have met my grandmother once when I was a little baby. Her name was also Esther. She was a Jehovah Witness and died from cancer; I believe there is also a story of her death being untimely due to her beliefs as she refused a blood transfusion.

My grandfather was also an alcoholic and brutal man and they divorced early on in the marriage, after 11 children.

I only knew one of my grandparents (all the others had died before or not long after I was born) - my Dad's mum - the only time I met her was when I was about 8 - she lived in Childers, QLD and I remember she had a big house up on stilts and she was very old
fashioned. Her cooking was very old fashioned but very yummy.

Now we have alot of contact with my husband, Steve's Nan - she just turned 90 but she is an awesome person. I never have been very good knowing what to say to older people - but with her it is very easy to have converstations, she has lots of stories to tell
and she is very accepting of everyone and not old fashioned at all. She has taught me that no matter all the troubles you go through with family in life - love and acceptance are the key. My worst memory of is her being in hospital - it doesn't suit her at all! hehe. My other bad memories are when her sons (two still live with her) are having issues - she worries so much about them. My best
memories are - her surprise birthday - she was so happy that the relatives from far away were there - even a nephew she hadn't
seen for over 20 years! And seeing her with the grandkids - she loves seeing them and loves getting drawings and stuff from them.
I think the fact that my mum & dads parents died before i had a chance to meet or get to know them, made me realise how short life is and to appreciate the time you have with your family.
Glenda

I never knew my dads parents as they lived in Ireland. My dad has never spoken much of his father and i dont beleive, by what i have heard, that it is a subject he likes to remember. My dads mum was also someone who i have never really heard much about either. i have seen some photos but other than that i know very little. the only memory i have of her being talked about was when i was about 6 or 7 when she passed away. I remember sitting at the table with my mum and dad and they were talking about it. I didnt really understand what was going on at the time. i know her name was mary and i think my dad had a few issues with her aswell. To this day im not entirely sure what my dads dad name was.
My mums parents however have been a very big part of my life, not so much my grandfather as he and my nan divorced before i was born, but he has always been around. from the stories i have heard about their marriage it wasnt a very good one. they emigrated here from england when my mum was 12, and mum said that they had lived in about 16 different houses by the time she was 16. My nan still holds alot of resentment towards him aswell. My nan and i had always been close from the time i was born. i was her first grandaughter and i used to spend alot of time with her. I didnt realise when i was young but she was a spiritulist and used to give readings and things to people. When i was about 6 or 7 she used to take me to her local spiritualist church. My knowledge and awareness of the spiritual side of everything has all come from her. Every kind of spiritual experience i had had usually occured when i was with her, or at her home. My favourite memories of my nan is being little and laying in her bed while she would tell me these amazing stories. She was much happier then, and laughed alot more. My worst memories i guess are of her now. she holds alot of anger and it has manifested in everything she does. I dont really spend as much time with her as i used to, but we are still very close.